She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
