Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
