so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
