I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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