You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
