Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
