the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
