I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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