she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
