I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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