whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
