i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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