Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
