I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
