We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
