You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
