your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
