You're so nebulous sometimes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
