i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
