you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
