is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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