I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
