the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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