That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
