i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i dont even know how to be here
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
