It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
