About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
