White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
