Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
