I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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