walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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