she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
