my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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