i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
