Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
