Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
