If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
