is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
