..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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