Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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