We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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