dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
