maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
