I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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