I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
