So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
