I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
