I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
