Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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