Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
