are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
