I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
