yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My vagina is very pro this idea
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