Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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